Well, I've got noone to talk to. At least I feel like that. It was supposed to get better after getting job right? Well I have a job but lost all friends.. I am really lonely but so scared of people that I close myself in my room on weekends and during the week I still have to go to the office due to some technical issues. But when I get everything set up then I'll work remotely and honestly then I'm gonna be so lonely. I wanted to take up a dance class but in my mind I already have scenarios. I won't have a partner so I'll be awkwardly dancing alone.. Or worse, I'll meet one guy who I had a short romance with and it would be embarrassing. The problem is, I would like to pick the class in that big dance school but there is a huuuge probability I would meet him there and I still feel guilty about that night and the shitty outcome. Then I'm scared that if I go to another school I'm gonna meet another guy I dumped.. That's one of the reasons I don't use dating apps anymore. I don't want to see guys I dumped everywhere. Yeah, so to avoid rejection or unpleasant situations I simply stay at home on my own. The problem is my room feels so sad. I ordered some new things today so that I can make it feel more like home. I also bought one plant. My only friend right now I guess. I mean, I made that choice, to isolate myself, kinda. People just disappointed me so much that I prefer being alone than feeling like a piece of shit again. Anyway, that's it for today I guess. I am lonely, feel like shit but glad I have work tomorrow at least. I'm just scared of being with people in the office. They watch me, they talk about me, they judge me, they scare me.